It's back to school again! Everyone is nervous, but for parents who have struggled through school years in the past, it can be extra intimidating to embark on a new year. While many people will to claim some level of ADHD, a true diagnosis indicates an impairment that interferes with normal daily activities. While I never want to judge any parent for making a decision that they feel is in the best interest of their child, I did want to publish this series about the non medication related interventions that have made a huge difference. In the words of my pediatrician, ADHD isn't a problem, until it's a problem. These tips can delay, minimize, or in some cases prevent the need to progress to medication therapy.
If your child struggles with diagnosed or suspected ADHD, keep reading. These tips will reduce your stress and allow you and your child to experience the joy that you deserve. I've been on this journey with my daughter from 1st grade to now 8th grade and I'm sharing everything that I have learned along the way. I don't pretend to know it all, but I will share what has been tried, tested, and true to getting us to where we are now.
ADHD affects more than academic performance
While society likes to focus on academic achievement, in my experience the social and self esteem implications are much more consequential. Children with untreated ADHD often don't develop a love of learning. Tasks that neurotypical children complete with ease, are frustratingly monumental tasks. At some point, these children become self aware that what seems to come so easily to others is a struggle for them. A hopeless loop of frustration, procrastination, poor performance, disruptive behaviors, and poor self esteem is the result. At some point, I looked at myself and I didn't recognize the kind of parent I had become. I knew that something needed to change.
If you are going into this year dreading homework, power struggles, and disappointment, these tips will change your life. They brought peace back to our home, restored the joy in learning, and are the reason I have hope that this year will be a success.
If school is not a source of joy, it's time to explore
Learning should be fun. Especially in elementary school. If school isn't fun during the early years, there is no hope for your child to reach their full educational potential. They will be looking for the first exit ramp to escape the educational environment. That's not to say that every activity will generate the same level of excitement, but tears should not be a part of the educational process. Tears or frustration on the part of the parents or child are not ok!
When my daughter was in 1st grade, we were spending HOURS on homework assignments that I later realized were supposed to take 15 minutes. In class, she was making high marks and meeting all the milestones, but behind the scenes we were paddling extremely hard to stay afloat. When I talked to her teacher about our struggles at home, the teacher was completely unaware. Sure, she seemed to daydream a little during class, and matriculate through the centers more slowly, but she was passing the assessments, knew her sight words, and by the teachers measuring stick performing well. It was from there that it was suggested that we do an in class observation with a behavioral specialist. The behavioral specialist came to the class unannounced and observed my child and another peer of the same gender and age (down to the months) and then to the class as a whole. This evaluation gave me the information I needed to make sense of what was going on at home. While she wasn't disruptive, she was not attentive in class. Based on the observation, her peers were engaged and attentive during 75-80% of the instructional time. My daughter was only attentive for about half of that. She was struggling at home to comprehend and practice the concepts that were learned during class because she was not paying attention.
Now that we knew that her attention was the problem, the teacher was able to immediately implement strategies to help keep her engaged. Before an official diagnosis, before any kind of written or formal documentation, the teacher was able to keep a closer eye on her during class. She moved her seat closer to the front. She frequently called her name during the lesson to check her understanding. She allowed her to sit on a special sensory seat. She made sure she understood the homework before sending her home. A good teacher and career educator can do this from the time they are made aware of the problem. At home, we implemented a 15 minute rule for homework. The hours long battle to complete assignments was over. We had our lives back!
The classroom teacher holds the key to a successful year
My number 1 tip is: Never leave classroom placement up to chance. There is a science to classroom placement and it involves balancing demographics and other considerations so that each teacher has an equitable work load. Regardless of the size of the school, your child should always be more than just a number or a data point. The best way to do that is by writing a email and following it up with an in person introduction to put a face to the words. In elementary school, I always recommend reaching out to the administration to discuss the kind of classroom that will be a good fit. Most schools will not let you request a teacher by name, but you can identify qualities and attributes that will work best with your child's learning style. If you know your child likes to learn through song, put that in writing! Perhaps there is a Mary Poppins that would be a great fit. If your child is a very visual learner, maybe the administrator knows the perfect class for them. Because you will be collaborating closely with the classroom teacher, also think of qualities that are important to you. I always request a seasoned and career educator with a passion for teaching. This one sentence sums up everything I need. Experienced. Passionate. Committed. Year in and year out, I have found that a quality classroom teacher is one of the major keys to a successful start of a school year. If you have never written an email like this before, it's not too late to ensure that you get the right placement for a great year. I don't believe in gate keeping so, here is an example to use as a guide!
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